Spending time with my children is more revealing about me, than it is a discovery of them. To have a child’s curiosity is the elixir of an enriching
Spending time with my children is more revealing about me, than it is a discovery of them. To have a child’s curiosity is the elixir of an enriching life.
There’s something to be said about prolonged conversations with pint-sized people. By this, I am referring to my little children. It’s quite incredible to observe, how they observe. Their raw logic of trying to comprehend the world is exceptionally invigorating.
I am unsure what the average adult weight is, if you’re male, maybe you’re somewhere between 75 to 90kgs, if you’re a woman then anywhere between 55 and 70kgs? I am not a ‘weightist’ so don’t dwell on this too long because I will give you relevant context in the next few paragraphs.
Time spent in deep and meaningful conversations with my children always makes me happy. These little people who weigh no more than 15kgs say some of the most poignant things and as an adult you end up experiencing a tsunami of emotions – bewilderment, amazement, surprise, happiness, laughter, love, compassion, joy – you end up being enlightened by the lightness of their words and the gravity of their meanings.
Children live within a 10 feet radius – they don’t care whether we’re in Bali, Berlin or Timbuktu; they care about what’s in front of them and they consume an experience with more courage than an adult. Unabashed in their naivety and raging with curiosity – I love that. Somehow becoming an adult blunts the edges of perception and we tune into a frequency that is familiar and friendly – we seldom shake off our prejudices and the static of society and its expectations handcuff our ability to be ‘us’.
To have the luxury of hanging out with my little ones for much longer than usual is a rude awakening for me – I am awestruck in many ways. My four year old asks at least 10 questions every 60 seconds. Why fans go round in circles, where do butterflies come from, do ants have families, why trees don’t talk, why do people eat food, what is a big number, where is God, how do we make chocolate… there’s an endless barrage of questions and most of the times I am stumped for answers. The trick, I found, is to make up fun stuff as you go along and focus more on enjoying the fact that every question they asked is an awesome one.
We don’t do this as adults. We celebrate answers, not questions.
Recently, my son enquired if an astronaut ‘trumped’ in space, would he move forward… I considered the laws of propulsion and said ‘yes’ to which he had a fit of laughter as he considered this to be absolutely funny. Good for him, he blended physics with humour and was thrilled with himself.
Similarly, a child’s love is incomprehensibly pure. Unadulterated, unconditionally singular and potent. Their big hearts don’t fit their little bodies, as they give so much more than you can imagine (as many parents have already experienced). How brave are they? We adults succumb to social doctrines and are usually wrapped in envelopes of cynicism, pretense and correctness; always measured and seldom trusting. We can learn from little ones – celebrate questions, express our feelings, hug it out, cry when one needs to, sleep when one can.
They are pint-sized poets of life who have a clear measure of the moment. They say ‘a creative adult is a child that survived’ and I think that’s true; to be brave enough to be a painter, artist, dancer or singer requires more courage than being a doctor, engineer or physicist. There’s no hierarchical system, please be assured of this, but I think LinkedIn and Universities don’t make it easy for children to blossom without falling into an institutionalized narrative of success.
To conclude… try and remain a child for as long as you can.
If you have one of your own, allow him or her to remain a child. Don’t grow up quickly, it’s a trap no one told us about. Laugh, cry, love and hug – don’t let emotions get polluted.
Be original.
Be honest.
Be yourself.
Ask more questions.
Celebrate those who ask questions.
Nudge people to be inquisitive.
Don’t dwell on what others think – those who matter, don’t care.
After all, curiosity is the elixir of life.
